Her weak and trembling voice faded away. Her eyes rolled heavenward and stayed open without blinking. Her lips stayed parted, as if she had something else to tell me. Dear God, she was dead!
Petals on the Wind
What was it that Carrie wanted to tell Cathy and never had the chance to ? Here’s one possible answer
I saw Momma coming out of the post office. There was my chance, my one and only chance to ask her… why. I had to know the truth. I calmly went up to her and tapped her shoulder…
“Momma, it’s me Carrie ”
She appeared shocked even stunned, like any minute would see her clumped up in heap unable to handle the situation.
“Momma ?” I reached out to touch her hand and know she was for real.
But she yanked her hand as if I was a leper. I was confused, frightened and hurt by her reaction.
“Get away from me, I don’t know you. I don’t have any children, you must be mistaking me with someone else. My name is Corrine Foxworth Winslow. I’ve never seen you in my life.” She said as if I were an annoyance.
Oh God, Momma, how can you be so heartless. Why would you deny me ? I thought bitterly. But I saw her eyes, her eyes betrayed her. She knew who I was … She knew !
She whirled around as if the very sight of me was offensive. I watched her walk away fast as if running , running far away from a past she wanted to deny she had ever lived.
She left me with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart then…
As I reached down into my purse to grab a tissue to wipe my eyes… I noticed something… Momma had dropped something, an envelope.
I saw the handwriting and I knew it was Daddy’s. Daddy who went to Heaven so long ago and then shortly took Cory there too. At times I couldn’t even remember what Daddy looked like until I saw Chris.
Oh my God, what was Daddy saying ? He and Momma were brother and sister… and all along he knew ? He knew ?!!! How could he have children when the whole world knew that was wrong ? What was I to do ? The grandmother was right. I should never been born. Oh Daddy how can you do this to us, and Momma too ? How could I marry Alex now, when I knew the truth ? How could I have his children ? I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. I can’t tell Cathy this, it will her hurt her. Chris will be back soon, I will show him this as soon as I can.
I knew now I couldn’t marry Alex, I couldn’t keep this from him. He’s going to become a minister. How could I shame him with this knowledge… My dad had done the same thing and deceived us all. I cried then an ocean of tears for the life I should have had …
Dollanganger excerpts pieces used to derive theory
Last week I started thinking about the grandmother and what she used to say to us all the time about being the Devil’s spawn. The more I thought about it, the more I knew she was right- we shouldn’t have been born! I am evil! When Cory died because of the arsenic on the sugared doughnuts the grandmother gave us, I should have died too! You didn’t think I knew, did you? You thought all the time I was sitting on the floor, in the corner, I
couldn’t hear and didn’t take notice, but I was seeing and hearing, but I
didn’t believe, back then. Now I believe.
What made her believe ???
“I called and asked to see her a week ago and her voice sounded strange, as if something terrible had happened and she couldn’t speak about it. I drove as fast as I could to be with her, but she wouldn’t let me in. Cathy, I love her!
What was so very, very terrible when she has known that Corrine denied them before ?
“I’ve got something secret to tell you. Her voice was so faint it seemed to come from over hundreds of soft, rounded, little hills far, far away. “I saw a lady on the street.” Her voice was so low I had to lean to hear. “She looked so much like Momma I had to run up. I caught hold of her hand. She snatched hers away and turned cold hard eyes on me. ‘I don’t know you’ she said. Cathy, that was our mother!
She looks like she used to almost, only a little older. She even had on the pearl necklace with the diamond butterfly clasp that I remember. And,
Cathy, when your own mother doesn’t want you-don’t that mean nobody can
want you? She looked at me and she knew who I was; I saw it in her eyes,
and still she didn’t want me because she knows I’m bad. That’s why she
said what she did-that she didn’t have any children. She doesn’t want you
or Chris either, Cathy, and all mothers love and want their children unless they’re evil, unholy children … like us.”
“Oh, Carrie! Don’t let her do this to you! It’s the love of money that
made her deny you … not that you are bad or wicked or unholy
And of course Chris Sr’s letter